Two Years Down; One Final Day

Well well well...

After almost two years of this maelstrom of an presidential campaign, the day has come. Election Day. The end all be all free for all of the American political system. Not for the weak of heart (so sorry, John... you might be disqualified for that matter alone. Which leaves your running mate...), and for those who become nauseous easily... stay out.

But by some act of divinity... or an abundance of amphetamines pumping through peoples' systems... the early voter turn out is on track to break all records. And how could that be? Does it have to do with this historic election, where either a black man will become our first minority president or a woman our first vice president? Possibly. Its certainly not for the joy of standing in line all day, waiting to get your shot at an antiquated voting machine. But by no means am I advocating not voting. Quite the contrary. I find the very idea of people refusing to vote both moronic and utterly offensive to any semblance of a nationalist still left in me. I mean really... we are the nation most notorious for standing on our global apple box and shouting to the world the joy and magnificence of democracy, and yet people are too lazy to pull their ass out of the couch, miss non-stop television for a few hours, and participate in our government.

Nonetheless, even as the pure cynic that I be... I feel optimistic about this year. God, Allah, Buddha, Zeus, and Martha Stewart willing... the youth f the nation WILL actually do their part. Remember the good old days, in the sixties and seventies (well, early seventies. Before disco came in and made the world a terrible, terrible place) when the young voters actually gave two thirds of a damn about the state of their country? Well, it seems possible that this year might see the same zeal and enthusiasm about politics as our vaunted "golden years." 

I for one am incredibly excited. In 2004, the democratic party had a shot of adrenaline... much needed since the final days of Wild Boy Billy Clinton. And that surge came in the form of Barack Obama. A young, intelligent, articulate senator with the charisma and ideology that was reminiscent of JFK, he gave new hope to the youthful democrats. Now, four years later... we are on the potential eve of his election to the presidency of the United States of America. Unlike his competitor, the self-righteous, sardonic, verbose, Mickey Mouse-voiced self accredited 'maverick' John McCain... Obama has inspired many in this nation to look forward. The chance for change is his methodology, as opposed to the GOP's campaign of fear and uncertainty. I mean Jesus... watching some of the Republican smear ads on television, I'm afraid to step outside lest some rogue group decides to take me and half of West 4th street out. What a surprise: the party that brought us Nixon now using paranoia and fear.

Look at it from this perspective. If Barack Obama wins, we will have elected the first African American president; the dream of Dr. Martin Luther King, jr. will have come to fruition. So, in the eyes of the whole world... we, the nation so proud of our "equality, justice, and unadulterated freedom" will finally have lived up to our claim. Equality will have finally been made commonplace. It will also show that, in the end, we the people DO care about this country. That we don't take our civic liberties AND duties lightly, and that when a party has failed to meet the needs of the people, we will not be blatantly STUPID enough to re-elect the same party once again. And last but not least... it will show that people like Sarah Palin will NEVER ascend into real powers of authority, and for good cause.

So, my dear little mongoloids... with even less to do than me... remember. It is a gift, freedom, and right of every citizen to vote. And even more, a responsibility. Now go! Get to it! Tear the doors off the hinges at your local voting station like a pack of drug-addicted hippies desperately seeking opiates from a local pharmacy! Just remember... by the end of tonight, we may be spraying each other with the finest cheap-champaign; we also be quietly drinking cheap port from the bottle while sobbing in the corner, wondering where we went wrong... once more.